Omo Ase Lo N’Panic

By Toyin Falola

Nigeria has never come short of serving this generation with supplies of memes to subtly describe our current predicament. These supplies come from either old Nollywood or new Nollywood or just random videos found on the web. We just pick the ones that suit our situations and run with it. We have made use of “mo gbe won l’andicap,” “Idan,” “Emi Lo Kan,
“Omo,” “We Outside,” and a horde of others.

The new one gaining momentum these days is “Omo ase lon panic” which translates to “only the naïve ones panic.” What makes this slang more iconic is that it also has a subset – which can be tweaked to the user’s taste. This slang has become widely loved because it cuts across several social strata. For example, Brother Michael, a gainfully employed young man who could not finish his office work on a Friday, takes it home for completion. But Friday nights are reserved for reverie; therefore, Brother Michael stops over at the bar for a good time. He returns home late in the night and wakes late on Saturday morning. He spends the rest of the day having a nice time with his friends, and on Sunday, he dedicates the morning to God. After returning from church on Sunday, he remembers the backlog of office work he needed to complete ahead of Monday. He quickly gets to it, but there is not enough time to finish – he needs to rest ahead of the workday. Brother Michael picks up his phone and goes to his WhatsApp; he uploads the short clip where Yinka Quadri drops the now iconic quote, “ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki” (do not panic, only the naïve ones panic). He then follows that post with a captioned picture, “Work done = 10%, Composure = 90%.” His friends would immediately understand the task ahead of Brother Michael, who is more than ready to face whatever happens at work the next day with his boss, and he has no fears facing them.

            This slang is not only used by people in the corporate arena; the students make use of it the most when dealing with different issues. The pressure on students when an exam is close is not a child’s play. Students, however, amid this pressure, still have to live their lives as normal humans. They cannot spend all their time studying for the coming exams. Studying would be submerged in numerous activities, and when the exam begins to knock on the door, they return to their studies and start trying to perform magic tricks like reading a course taught in the space of eleven weeks in a few hours. A few minutes into this herculean task they have set out for themselves, they realize the impossibility attached to their task and momentarily give up on it. Their WhatsApp status would soon carry that video, and the words, “ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki” (do not panic, only the naïve ones panic) would ring in your ears. To further explain the kind of trouble they are about to face, they would complement it with another post that says, study = 5%, Composure = 95%. With that, they set themselves for a good night’s rest to face their trouble the following day with maximum composure.

            Whenever you see this slang, it is most likely synonymous with impending trouble and the zeal to face it with as much composure as possible. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with work or school. Sometimes, it has to do with finance, another source of trouble. At that time, one of my friend’s kids narrated a scenario to me and his father. His friend got the sum of twenty thousand naira from home to buy foodstuffs. Bayo was there when his friend received the credit alert, and by “bro code,” he must give him a slice of that money. They proceeded to the school cafeteria to get bottles of soft drinks. Just the two of them would have spent below one thousand naira. Trouble found them when this fine girl his friend had been going after for a long time saw them buying the drink. Eve’s daughter crossed over to them and asked if she could get a drink, too. Bayo kept quiet; it was not his money. His friend gave her the “go ahead.” The girl picked a fruit juice that cost more than one thousand naira. Bayo’s legs shook; he felt bad for his friend. She said “thank you” and left them. They were still there trying to pay for what they bought when she returned and picked another fruit juice. She explained that her friend had collected the juice Bayo’s friend had paid for earlier. She spent about three thousand naira, and Bayo and his friend spent less than a thousand naira. Before they got back to their hostel, Bayo’s friend had already made his post of “ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki” (do not panic, only the naïve ones panic). His fund was already depleted, especially because they checked food prices, and they had tripled. The poor boy would not even get half of his foodstuffs at the rate. When Bayo checked his WhatsApp again, he said he nearly died of laughter; his friend had posted Sapa = 70%, Composure = 30%. The trouble his friend faced was more than he would be able to bear, yet he understood that he would have to face it regardless.

            To be honest, many of us are currently operating on this slang, whether we know of its existence or not. One time, my PA had this work on his table for quite a while, and he had been shelving it for other activities that he had chosen, not to mention for his safety and that of his job. He had a deadline, but he missed that, and he knew the trouble that was awaiting him since his work was not yet ready for submission. His work was submitted after the deadline, but he realized that back then, even though he did not realize it, he calmly pulled out the mighty, “Ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki.” As he told me, his composure was 95%, and his idea for a new material was just 5%. He met his colleagues, and he composed himself and gave them explanations and reasons why his work was not yet ready. They looked at him with utter disbelief, but he did not panic. They gave him time to do his work.

Ladies and gentlemen, learn from my PA, who utilized his 5% idea for a new material and got the job done. In this harsh season, “Ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki” . I know that millions of you are beginning to enter a state of panic, especially with the inflation rates that accompany President Emi Lokan. There is surely hope, as there is light after every darkness. Have maximum composure of 97 percent and minimal panic of 3 percent. As Falola Baba Idan said, “Ma paniiki, omo ase lo n paniiki!”

PS: This piece was composed in Abuja on May 31, 2024.